I hate it when people aren't up-front with me.
In a meeting recently with one of my friends, we were having a discussion about unspoken expectations and assumptions. I learned that for a few months, some of my other friends had gone to her asking if something was wrong with me.
I can't help but ask: why didn't they come straight to me? It can be disappointing when you grow up with someone for more than half of your life and they can't come to you directly to ask how you've really been.
Jesus said, "So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift (Matthew 5:23-24 ESV)."
After reading that verse, I decided that a few people in particular might have something against me, so I needed to reconcile before I set foot into church this Sunday morning. Not to make this like a soap opera, but I was a little annoyed with one said friend for reasons other than the ones I already mentioned. In my opinion, she had drop-kicked me to hang out with a guy from our group of friends, and it was just a big flirt-fest to watch... for several days. And I wasn't the only one that was irritated. So here goes my apology.
"I'm sorry for not being a good friend to you lately - honestly, I have been kind of annoyed with you and ______."
"I know, I just was having fun with him. I didn't mean to make anybody mad."
"Yeah, I know. I'm over it now, and I shouldn't have gotten so annoyed. Will you forgive me?"
"Yes! I just don't know why someone didn't come talk to me about it directly at the time..."
Shoot. It was at that moment that I began to see all the things I hated about a terrible friend surface in me. How could I expect people to come straight to me with their concerns when I'm not willing to face up to them about the things that divide us? How could I expect sincere friendship when I so often am insincere in my intentions and words? And the overly-critical friend - what am I when I begin to criticize them?
I'm at a place of new found need: for mercy to forgive my hypocrisy, and grace to be a better friend.
7 years ago
1 comments:
Hmm, good point. It's SOO easy to follow the Bible exactly.....when it's someone else's sin that we are pointing out.
Oh, I have so many logs that I step over to get to find splinters.
I know I am learning to call sin what it is when I'm dealing with my life. "Flaw", "weakness", and "personality" aren't what God calls much of what I do, I've noticed. :)
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